Ramadhan & Syawal 2011

This year Ramadhan marked a new history. Some of you knew about it from my FB status. And I would like to thank you all for the support!

August 22 is the date. I finally mengalah and brave myself to face the In Laws! Usually when the hub said he wants to go back kampung, i would just ignore and will usually reply, 'u balik la sorg'. But this time, not sure why, when he said he wants to balik kampung berbuka. I didn't say anything. He didn't asked or persuade or force me to follow. It was me who started having this mixed feeling. Hence, the FB post. Only later he asked whether i want to follow or not. 

Around 6.30pm we drove back. Dalam hati berdebar-debar sangat. I insisted to drop by bazar to buy something as 'buah tangan' (actually my main motive is to reach the house just in time for berbuka hihihihi niat jahat still ada tu). Mula-mula hub said macam tak sempat but when we reached Salak Tinggi, we still have about 30 minutes before berbuka. So i bought some karipap and murtabak.

When we reached there, ish rasa gerun dah! I let the kids & hub walked in first. It was abah who waited at the front door. Siap peluk my hub. Then MIL came, peluk the cucu-cucu first. Then the hub. I saw tears coming from her eyes. Sebak pulak and said to myself, dah lama giler ke en hub ni tak balik sini? Last, she came to me and i salam-ed her and she hugged and kissed me. I was touched! Tapi hati keras and liat, i just senyum je. Takde la pulak nak nangis.

I did asked my hub before balik kampung tu, 'nanti u pegi terawih, i nak buat apa?' and he said 'u ikut la sekali gi terawih at surau, ok?'. It's a good idea, rather than duduk je kat rumah tu with nothing to do and say. So bila dah berbuka, my hub asked again, 'nak pegi sekali ke? i rasa tak payah la... u duduk je la sini.. buat terawih kat sini'. I took my own sweet time performed my terawih. I let them entertained and layans all my girls.

The visits went well! Although i didn't make any conversation, just answer all their questions je. Ok la kan. It's the first move, big effort! But i did eavesdrop on the conversation where the MIL said to hub that this year the 2 SILs will be going back to their in laws (and from history records, my eldest BIL never balik malam & pagi raya) so meaning, no cucu will be around on raya morning. She was hoping we could come back with our kids la. 

When i was still angry with her, i always wish, hope and dream for this thing to happen where, takde cucu beraya dgn dia di pagi raya. Seriously! Because before ALL of these things happens (i.e before we moved there), the hub and i memang selalu gilir-gilir raya morning. Bila dah moved there and start with all the kecik hati, i have the feeling that she didn't see and didn't appreciate our effort to be there with her for raya. Ye la asyik dok ingat fav cucu je kan.

After the visit, I didn't dare to ask hub about our raya plan. My heart, of course la nak balik gombak just like the previous 2 years. Finally, the hub bukak mulut and said, 'kita balik sepang la the day before raya.. mak kata Lin & Ana takde balik rumah mertua. Takde cucu beraya dgn dia...' Haish

Allah tested me. Ye la i could actually have my dream come true where the mil celebrating raya sans cucu especially the fav cucu! Kalau ikut nafsu memang surely i tossed hub's idea in the thrash. Luckily, Alhamdulillah, Allah kuatkan i and i mengalah so we packed our stuffs and my hub finally got his raya. Mula-mula the hub macam poyo je nak balik lepas subuh! Nak tolong buat lemang katanya. Nasib baik la tak jadi because first, rumah tak habis berkemas and second we went to visit my bro & sil who just got their 1st baby. We arrived there about 30 minutes before berbuka. I'm good at timing!

When we arrived, fav cucu was there. You should see my face, macam tak puas hati je. Found out that their car broke down. Dalam hati dok doa-doa 'janganlah diorg ni tak jadi balik...huhuhuhu'. Nasib baik la diorg balik jugak later after berbuka tu. Phew!

That was malam raya story.

Pagi raya routine with the in laws in previous years started as early as after Subuh, around 7ish where we'll gather and salam mak abah, then straight away proceed to hub's gm's house (kat belakang rumah) where we'll gather with the rest of abah's siblings and makan2 before they all go for solah raya. Usually, i memang kelam kabut la pagi2 raya tu nak siapkan anak and myself. And usually i memang orang yang last la kluar bilik. For this year, MIL said we'll go to the GM's house after diorg semua balik from solah. Lega la sikit because i've plenty of time to dress the girls and myself up!


Ok, this is another history marked. This raya, for the very 1st time i salam minta maaf with hub! Yes, believe it or not, i tak pernah bersalam raya with him ever since we got married 7 years ago. Not even once! Terukkan?


Then his mom came back 1st from masjid so we salam-ed her. When i salam-ed her, i just said 'selamat hari raya, mak... maaf zahir batin' je (which i sincerely meant it). Then she said few things about minta maaf kalau ada tersalah cakap etc etc... i felt guilty already!


Same thing happen when i salam-ed abah. I said the same thing. He held on to my hands and said 'abah minta maaf kalau ada salah & silap etc etc...' i felt another guilt! Tersentuh hati! Dah la he's the only father i have now. And it's been 2 years since i held on my own dad's hand on hari raya. This raya, dapat salam tangan seorang bapa really meant a lot to me *sobsobsob*


Then all of us went to Gm's house. Part ni nervous gak la. Ye la dah beberapa kali raya hub balik sorang2 je. Surely they know something and i'm not sure how he and his family, mil and fil that is, explain to them about me and the kids. The GM cried (read: terjerit) and said 'bila orang ni balik?!'. Her reaction macam terkejut and tak sangka... but happy to see me :-)


After makan2, about half hour later, MIL came to me and said 'yan duduk la rumah dulu ye... mak nak ke Perak'. At 1st i didn't know why she wanted to go there, out of the blue pagi2 raya ni kan. Then, one of hub's cousin asked and she said my BIL#2 dah ajak banyak dah pergi rumah tunang dia. Only then i knew that they all were going to BIL's tunang's house. Read: MIL's bakal menantu & bakal besan's house. I yang dah official menantu ni kena duduk tunggu kat rumah? Huh??

I don't blame my PIL. I just don't get my BIL. If he's excited and eagerly wants to celebrate 1st raya with the tunang, then pergi la sorang2. Who's stopping you man?! Ini dah la nak jugak pergi sana on 1st raya morning tu pastu siap angkut both my PIL, apa hal? If nak angkut pun, tak boleh ke tunggu 2nd or 3rd raya?! Sheeeesh! Memang tak faham this fella. He's my hub's elder brother tau. 2nd child syndrom tak sudah2 lagi! Kahwin je la cepat2.


THAT's my morning raya drama.


Sorry la if i have just had to post it in my FB status although i know he's in my friends list. Honestly, i tried to rationalise what had just happen that day but i couldn't get it. Not sure if it's because of that post, 2 days later MIL called hub and informed that they all planning to come to our house that Saturday (the 1st Saturday of Syawal) and they did. 


Alhamdulillah, everything turns out well. I hope this relationship will remain like this forever. And i'm hoping for more good things to come. Before this i betul2 rasa terbeban with all the anger i have for them. And rasa takde keberkatan. If Allah were to take my life while i was still having all the anger and hatred inside me..... MasyaAllah! Ntah apa la nasib i. Hope Allah will always give me guidance.


Speaking of keberkatan & more good things to come, i think 'one' is on the way already. What is it?... Wait for my next post ya......